Braving the Fears that Once Controlled Me


I’m rewatching Frozen now on Disney Plus (shoutout to Sam, thanks for the password!) and it brings me back to when it came out, and (like everyone) I belted “Let It Go” on repeat in my car.

The lyrics were great-- encouraging us to abandon fear and to live freely. - “The fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.”

Around this same time, there was a "CU’s (my college) got talent" and my roommate was going to audition. She said I should go too because she had heard me sing in the shower daily and liked my voice. My issue was- I didn’t perform in front of people.

I had led worship for mission trips, but that didn’t scare me. Worship was all about Jesus and others would be wrong to examine me then. It wasn’t truly performing.

I only truly performed in front of others a few times and it didn’t go well, so I was scared to be vulnerable in that way again. I debated, but finally decided not to let fear rule me and to live freely. I decided to live out the motto I had just seen in Frozen. And because of that, I thought to sing “Let It Go” to audition. It would be my ‘I’m conquering fear’ anthem!

So I went. I stood in front of the judges and got ready to sing.

And then I absolutely bombed. I forgot the words. I started apologizing and just stood there. It was awful. I left and I was so embarrassed. ‘THIS IS WHY I DON’T DO THIS!”

One of my favorite books is called “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown, and she tells this story of meeting a guy on an airplane. The guy told her that he had listened to her TED talk and loved her 'live-without-fear' message. That he was so inspired to live bravely that he told his girlfriend he loved her. Then, in the same conversation, she broke up with him. When he told his friends what happened, they all called him an idiot. But he responded to them in the most wonderful way: “No, I was daring greatly.”

The girlfriend’s response didn’t make his act of love any less brave or wonderful! He braved the risk. He lived freely and fearlessly. Fear of failure shouldn’t discourage us from doing that!

And in that same way, my bombed attempt to sing "Let It Go" in front of the "CU Got Talent" judges was just as brave as if I had knocked it out of the park. It took just as much courage to fail as to succeed.

What makes something truly brave is that you don’t know how it’s going to go. You just go for it. And then live that way! Because it’s liberating!! If life isn’t free and wild and maybe-a-little-embarrassing, then is it actually truly living?

Living freely is one of my favorite messages because we can feel the difference in our lives. We can tell if we are worried or liberated. And for me, one of the biggest indicators of freedom is the bravery to go out on a limb. You might fall but there might be fruit. (so cheesy) And either way, the fears won't be controlling you. We deserve more than to be controlled by such a silly thing.

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