How often are we swayed in our views of the world because of what we hear from other people? Personally, I let myself be swayed more than I’d like. Just this week, I doubted my usefulness in God’s kingdom because of one lady’s words. Despite my knowledge that God says He created me uniquely and with a purpose, I began to doubt because I heard otherwise from elsewhere. This wasn’t the first time I let myself doubt my identity because of someone’s words. One time, a friend told
I used to believe that being mean was respectable. In 5th grade, I went to the Laundromat with my best friend. Her mom went to pick up some clothes and they weren’t ready for her. She yelled, got in the employees’ faces, and came back to the car, proud that she had gotten her way. I remember going home and telling my mom that she should be more like my friend’s mom. “You’d get your way a lot more,” I said. Now, I see plenty of reality shows where meanness is used as a protect
When I was thirteen, I was terrified of Satan. The fear started when I watched a television special on The Exorcist, the seventies movie about a girl who is possessed by Satan. In this special, the commentators explained how the film was based on a real story, and then showed clips of the film to demonstrate what happened to the real-live girl. I couldn’t sleep for days. I preemptively told Satan “In the name of Jesus, leave!” over and over, semi-compulsively, until I fell as
Someone asked if I was willing to trust God, despite being let down by others. I sat and contemplated. I wish it was an easy "yes" for me. I wish that I had more of a carefree spirit or trusting nature like other people seem to have. But I feel damaged. I've been hurt by people, by the world, and it feels an awful lot like I've been hurt by God. Does anyone else feel like God has personally set out to hurt them??? I know it's a false thought, but it's a feeling...and feelings
Tonight was supposed to be my room-cleaning night. Well, two nights ago was, and then last night was. But tonight was REALLY the night. As I picked up the random stuff on my floor: socks, Christmas presents, loose dryer sheets; I stumbled upon my beautiful old leather journal. I got it almost exactly 5 years ago and it was one of the best gifts I have every received. For the first time since I wrote it, I dove in to read the words I knew would hurt my heart. This journal cove
Oh, I'm running to your arms, I'm running to your arms. The riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace. Light of the World, forever reign." -"Forever Reign" by Hillsong I was at church and the song came on. I sang the chorus "...the riches of your love will." And then I stopped singing and started thinking. Was this what I actually thought? Were "the riches of (his) love" always enough? Enough for what? If you read my last blog, you know that
"Well, sometimes the deeper you dig, the more rocks you hit. But after the dig, more dirt is out.” I said it, and sat wide-eyed, half laughing at myself… as if I were embarrassed that something so corny came out of my mouth. I resist corny…but somehow this metaphor was thoughtlessly announced, spewing out of my mouth as easily as a “hey, how’s it goin?” At the time, I was sitting with one of my closest friends. We got into the discussion of God’s habit of clearing out the ugl