Oh, I'm running to your arms, I'm running to your arms. The riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace. Light of the World, forever reign." -"Forever Reign" by Hillsong
I was at church and the song came on. I sang the chorus "...the riches of your love will." And then I stopped singing and started thinking. Was this what I actually thought? Were "the riches of (his) love" always enough? Enough for what? If you read my last blog, you know that I have felt so down lately. Most times, I don't feel the riches of His love...so how can it be enough?
In the past, I felt like He is right next to me. Maybe you have felt something similar. Nothing feels better than when He feels near...and in those moments, I can sing without one doubt that "the riches of (his) love will always be enough," and are better than anything else !
But now I'm in a dry season. I read my Bible, not because I feel like it, but because I know that I need it. I put worship music on too...but again, it is not flowing out of my pure hearted desire to worship Him. Even though, personally, I have been trusting Him more, I don't really feel Him near right now.
One thing I heard that has been helping me in this time: When we praise God in the desert, the devil cowers. I can't think of anything more threatening to Satan than a person who worships God even when they don't feel like it. Even though our feelings are valid and important, they don't change one thing: God. He is constant. Still.
God is always here. I am realizing that regardless if we feel Him, He is still the same. He is trustworthy, present, faithful, loving, and powerful. Satan must cower at when people worship when they don't feel God … because they have the faith and trust to continue EVEN WHEN they don't have butterflies in their stomachs. They cannot be tricked by feelings. They know God is there all the time.
I want to be the person that trusts and has faith even when I don't feel Him near. But, I have to be honest...its hard. Which is exactly why I doubt and why I stopped at the words, "will ALWAYS be enough."
I ranked the "riches of His love" as a 3 out of 10 on the scale of love right now. So, in my mind, a 3 is not enough. I haven't felt Him near. I haven't really noticed His blessings (probably my fault), and I haven't been satisfied. I want more of the riches of His love.
But then I realized, the riches of His love are not just the huggy feelings I get. The riches of His love include truths like the fact that He died for me, or that He works for the good of those who love Him, or that He simply loves me and created me.
THOSE, too, are riches of His love. I forget about those. And those are constant.
When I realized this, it was time for the chorus again. I sang this time: "will ALWAYS be enough." I raised my hands and realized that feelings are really great, but I need God, not the feelings He gives me. I worship Him...and I adore The Spirit who fills me. But I will trust that the Spirit is in me even when it isn't creating butterflies in my stomach. And I will worship Him even when I am in a dry season.