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My whole life I had been a worrier because I had this deep-seeded ungodly belief that I can mess up God’s plan. If I'm honest, it is because, logically, I have seen people not living in their destinies. I also have seen myself choosing things that are so off-track. Unfortunately, well-meaning people have confirmed this belief-- that if I don't obey God perfectly, hear Him perfectly, follow Him perfectly, and have perfect faith that His way will come to pass… His plan won’t ha

My arms weakly, slowly lifted my body to an upright position. I sat, swaying back and forth on my unmade bed. I brought my hand to my face, then moved it through my unkempt hair. I stared at my clothes, which were wet from tears. Grunting loudly, I got out of bed. God was supposed to hear my (dramatic) grunt. I wanted Him to hear my distraught disappointment with what He is doing in my life. “God, I trusted you!” And look where it left me. What is it like to trust God? From m

I just got a sudden urge to write about marriage. I resisted…because I am not married. What kind of insight could I possibly offer to a subject that I have not entered? In fact, I can’t really remember my parents being happily married before their divorce…and now, when I can see happy marriages in the family, I am geographically too far to witness. Needless to say, I am unqualified to talk on marriage. What I feel completely qualified to talk about is singleness WHEN others a

Someone asked if I was willing to trust God, despite being let down by others. I sat and contemplated. I wish it was an easy "yes" for me. I wish that I had more of a carefree spirit or trusting nature like other people seem to have. But I feel damaged. I've been hurt by people, by the world, and it feels an awful lot like I've been hurt by God. Does anyone else feel like God has personally set out to hurt them??? I know it's a false thought, but it's a feeling...and feelings

Temptation- I seem to have tried everything in an effort to fight temptation. I've bribed myself not to give in. I've had plenty of revelations. I have an accountability partner. I've gotten a permanent reminder against temptation tattooed on my body. ...And then I got another tattoo two years later. I've regretfully punished myself if I gave in. I've sat in guilt and refused to accept forgiveness to try and make myself understand the depravity. On the opposite end, I've acce

When people ask me if I like Orange County (where i grew up), I usually say something that gives credit to the beach and calls attention to the superficiality, but finally gives praise to Disneyland. I grew up 5-10 (depending on heavy traffic) minutes away from the happiest place on earth. Sometimes, my sister and I would go after school, go on one ride, and do our "disney skip" arm in arm around the park. Constantly on the verge of motion sickness and with cotton candy all o