Lately, I keep entering conversations about love and romance and God. For college-aged girls, I feel that there is a necessary balance of being open to love yet also patient for the story that God desires. Every person has his/her own opinion about the proper way to date and the proper way to wait. Honestly, I’m a little overwhelmed with the idea of “doing it right” - of not being consumed with love, yet also not closing the door on its arrival.
I have had seasons of being consumed with romance, waiting on a boy to come to my balcony and serenade me with a song that he brilliantly crafted just for me, as well as seasons of carelessness- basically ridding the idea of a romantic relationship out of pure despair or exhaustion.
Neither of these seasons scream “living in the moment” to me, so lately, my search has been for a full surrender. God gave me this surrender this summer. He released me from all of the pressures of “finding the one.” Now, I am at the point that I have surrendered romance. (I still want it, but if I don’t find someone that pushes me more towards Jesus, I would rather go without). Being in this season sounds easier than not, but there are hard parts of it that resemble both of the old seasons. I have moments of being consumed and moments of hopelessness.
I have realized that ACTING in the true surrender that God has given me requires a concentration on him and HIS LOVE above all else. When I look to him and his love, the surrender comes.
So with that inspiration, I wanted to share an important lesson I learned in Thailand two years ago. There was a book written about “love languages.” Basically, a love language tells how you give and receive love most effectively. There are five “languages:” words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. While the intention of these “love languages” is to be applied between people, I learned that applying them to God’s love showed me how truly valuable I was- even as a single woman that does not see these “languages” in action in a romantic sense.
SO FOR YOU- whether married or single or somewhere in between, I want to show you how much you are loved by God in EVERY WAY:
If your love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION- God wants to tell you how loved you are. He tells you that He has known you since you were in the womb and before you were even conceived (Jer. 1:4-5) and that he is familiar with all of your ways (ps. 139:3). He says that He loves you with an everlasting love (Jer. 31:3) and that He rejoices over you with singing (Zeph. 3:17). He has a whole book telling of His love for you, how merciful He is with you and how you are fearfully and wonderfully made (ps. 139:14)
If your love language is GIFTS- God has blessed you with countless blessings. I realized how great of a lover God is through the language of gifts actually. I stood in the ocean and looked at a beautiful sunset- I couldn’t help but think that God gives the BEST presents to us. He gives beauty and mountains and rain and sun. He has given us that wonderful smell of coffee, watercolor paint, sunhats and different cultures. In your own life, God has given you unique experiences that have shaped you tremendously. He has given you people in your life that have shown you love in some way. He has given you unique blessings that He knew you would love.
If your love language is PHYSICAL TOUCH, He is still working. He touches you through others- with hugs or handholds. But- more than that- he gets closer than any person can. He lives INSIDE of you. The Holy Spirit is always with you, comforting you and holding you closely. In Ezekiel 36:26-27, the Lord says, “I will put my Spirit within you and cause you to walk in my ways.” That’s like a permanent handhold.
If your love language is QUALITY TIME- He wants to be with you in every activity of every day. He wants to comfort you and love you and He is always available to listen to you. He loves prayer because of this- He wants to spend quality time with you. In fact, God wants to spend so much time with you that He made it so that you could have eternity with Him. He wants all the time in the world (actually, beyond the world) with you.
If your love language is ACTS OF SERVICE, he gives it all for you. Jesus washed feet when He was alive. He served everyone around Him in unbelievable ways. In John 3:16, it is clear how far God would go to serve His people- to SAVE His people: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” He served us until the point of death. And it wasn’t just death—it was the most painful death, where he fully experienced the weight of every person’s sin. He DIED for you- it was the epitome of serving.
HE LOVES YOU. Our life is for relationship with Him…and hopefully we all get to have relationships with other people that show us even more of God’s love… He likes relationships between people- (He DID give Adam an Eve.)
But we already have God’s love- more precious that any other thing on earth. Lets celebrate for being known and loved by the Heavenly King- through the most beautiful acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time.